A Father’s Diary

No matter how hard we try, there is no way tabi is feeding through a bottle. We have tried everything. Used all kinds of bottles, tested keeping her hungry for a while, but nothing seems to be working.

We support breast-feeding wholeheartedly but there are few rare occasions when it is not practical. Even in those situations we strive to breastfeed the baby by expressing the breastmilk in a bottle and feeding her through it, but that has never worked because she would not take the bottle. She has gotten so used to exclusive breast feeding that she wouldn’t accept anything else.

We hope that after she is has crossed the 6-months mark and started having solid food, things will get better. In the meantime, do you have any ideas how to make the baby bottlefeed?

My brother in-law is visiting us. He has got two little daughters, one is 3-years old and other around 7 months old, just a few months older than tabi.

Needless to say, our home is a commotion. tabi has always been a very social baby. She likes it when there are people around her and never cries when someone carries her. So she is very excited to see to people in our home. She has made friends with GJ, her 7-month old cousin. They both talk in gibberish and we have no idea what is being discussed.

Because of the guests we go out every single day and stay out late night. The only problem with that is changing her diapers and feeding her (when we are at places where there is no decent feeding place for babies). Ever since she turned four months old, she has started looking at things with great interest. Every day she sees new things and is dazzled by so many objects in her little world. I am sure she has so many questions in her little mind about why things are like they are, but alas she is unable to speak right now.

I am sure she will drive us crazy when she starts speaking. At the moment GJ and tabi are enjoying each other’s company.

Tabi is now four months. One of the most major changes that I have noticed in her is that she has become more alert and conscious of her surroundings. She recognizes objects and tries to hold anything that she can grab. She was never a trouble baby. She doesn’t cry unless she is having stomach pain or some other problem. Most of the times she just smiles and laughs and talks in baby language. In fact she talks a lot. At nights when we are about to hit the bed that’s when she is most active. She utters amazing sounds and makes cute noises. It seems like she will be a chatterbox when she will grow up because she just can’t keep quite for a long time.

When we are out in the mall or somewhere I carry her in the sling. She’s still not used to sleeping in her stroller (or crib for that matter). But the good thing is that she sleeps easily while hanging in the sling. This makes it easy to perform our chores. Like I said, she is not a trouble maker unless she is really in some kind of trouble.

Although this blog is about fatherhood, I do not want to take any credit away from the mothers who go through the process of becoming a mother.

While fathers just look from a distance, it’s the mother who goes through the pregnancy. And I know it’s not easy. I have seen my wife going through the pain, the anxiety, the emotional stress, the unpredictable appetite, and countless visits to the doctor.

It’s the mother who undergoes all the tests, medical examinations, ultrasounds, treatments, and the physical burden of carrying a baby inside her body, for nine months.

It’s the mother who gives birth to the baby. And it’s probably the most painful thing ever. A father can never begin to imagine how it feels to deliver a baby because he never goes through it himself.

And then comes the stage of nursing the baby. Imagine feeding the baby from your body until the baby is old enough to eat other food. Imagine doing it every couple of hours, even in the middle of the night. Imagine being unable to do anything else because you have to feed the baby. I can’t imagine doing any of that. But mothers do it like nobody’s business.

It doesn’t end there. A mother takes care of her baby in every stage of growth. Right from changing diapers to teaching her how to tie a shoelace. Add this to the sleepless nights when the baby is sick, or unable to sleep for any reason.

Fathers, on the other hand, are not that deeply involved in this entire process. As much as I love my baby and want to do things for her, I can’t even come close to the effort and sacrifice my wife is making to raise the child.

Words don’t exist to appreciate the mother for what she does to keep this world going. It’s beyond out comprehension.

Last few days have been the craziest days of my life. It has been as hectic as I was expecting it to be, and then some.

My wife was discharged from the hospital three days after the baby was born. I stayed with her throughout those three days, except for a few hours in the afternoons when I came home to catch up with my sleep.

Talk about sleep, this word seems like the most precious thing in the world these days. Right from birth, the baby’s sleep-cycle has been totally random. And so is ours. As much as we are trying to train her to follow a schedule, she refuses to do so. Her sleeping and waking up timings are completely random with no pattern at all. Some times she sleeps all night long and wakes up early morning, and other nights she doesn’t sleep until it is early morning. Needless to say, we also have to stay up with her to “entertain” her. So whenever she’s sleeping it’s our best chance to close our eyes and recharge our batteries for another session of boo-boo and baa-baa.

It got worse when my leave was over and I joined my office. Dealing with work related tasks after staying up all night is no fun.

Moreover, we are trying our best to make her sleep in her crib right from the first day, so that she develops a habit of sleeping independently from very early stage. Can’t stay how well this has been working because again the results are very random. Sometimes she sleeps peacefully in the crib for several hours and sometimes she refuses to sleep unless she is in mama’s arms.

So the baby has already a personality of her own. She has her own likes and dislikes, preferences, and choices. Imagine how she would be when she grows up.

I know and totally understand that babies take some time to understand their environment and get adjusted to it. So there are no complains. But the experience of going through this period of adjustment as a father is phenomenal.

We have a baby girl.

She arrived two days before the due date, and I had this feeling deep down inside me that she will be born a couple of days earlier than what doctors were saying.

She was kept under observation for 24 hours. According to doctors she had a minor infection in her lungs at the time of birth as a result of which she was breathing a bit faster than normal but by next day it was all clear. She is going to be on antibiotics for next few days in order to remove all traces of the infection.

Other than that it’s a delight to have her. She is such an adorable little thing. Just looking at her is a perfect joy.

The journey of fatherhood has officially started and I can already tell it’s going to be a wonderful ride.

We were having such a good time, my wife and I, that having children was last thing in our mind. Every day was full of activities, enjoyment, and happiness. It had been almost one year since we got married and we were ready to go child-free for another year.

But then something happened. Our birth control plan did not work as planned. We were both surprised, and shocked, to find out that a baby was in the making. We just couldn’t believe it. But by then it was too late to fret over it, and it was time to prepare for what fate had written for us.

Today, almost nine months later, we are ready. We have mentally accepted that we will be parents soon. We are looking forward to the new arrival in our small family. Everything seems to be in order. Right from clothes and diapers to car-seat and pram, we have got it all.

We are holding our breath to have the little angel in our arms.

Can’t wait to be a father!