A Father’s Diary

Tabi had a cough and it was not going away for a few days. She was also throwing up frequently. So we took her to the doctor. That’s when we found out she had Acute Bronchiolitis. The doctor recommended to admit her in the hospital and start the treatment immediately. He said she could recover very rapidly in the hospital and be discharged in a couple of days, while at home it could take a week or so. That was around 10 at night.

So we got her admitted in the hospital, in a state of shock as we never imagined it would be something that serious. Nevertheless, the treatment started and the highlight of the treatment was Nebulizer every 6 hours, along with fluids and other medicines. So we stayed in the hospital with the baby all night, the entire next day and night. She was discharged the following morning, 36 hours after she was admitted. The recovery was indeed rapid. The doctor was happy with the progress and advised us to continue the medicines. Couple of hours later we were home as relieved parents.

Other than worrying about our child, we had nothing to do in the hospital. It was excruciatingly boring. Imagine a couple who is always up to something sitting in a hospital with nothing to do but look at their ill baby. It was kind of funny actually. We were worried inside but at the same time we were laughing and making jokes. It felt like we had gone somewhere for vacations. To make it really look like a vacation I brought my laptop from home and we watched a couple of movies while the baby was asleep.

It was a roller coaster weekend for us. At least we were able to make the most out of free time we had in our hands.

Ever since tabi has turned four months, her mama has been very keen on giving her solid food. She brings baby food in small bottles available in the stores, mostly fruits like apple, peach and so on. Surprisingly (or maybe not), she seems to enjoy the new taste. It’s such a delight to see her experiencing a new taste followed by smiling and laughing and expressing her happiness when she likes it. I have a feeling she is going to be fond of eating, which is good and bad depending how you look at it.

We can’t wait to find out her likes and dislikes in food.

When we hear stories about small babies having a separate room and sleeping alone all night long, we find it very hard to believe.

We are still waiting for the day when tabi will sleep on her own, without any “assistance” from mama or papa. She always needs someone to make her sleep. Either it has to be mama to wrap her in arms and feed her and sing to her and calm her down and finally make her sleep, or it has to be papa to carry her in a sling, or make her lay down on his shoulders and hum to her and make her sleep.

Making the baby sleep has become a daily ritual and one of the parents have to perform it. Not only we have to make her sleep, but she also needs someone to sleep next to her to keep on sleeping. If we leave her alone on the bed or her crib to do anything else, she will be up within few minutes. Then you have to start over again. Very rarely it happens that tabi sleeps for a couple of hours without having anyone sleeping next to her, and we consider ourselves extremely lucky when that happens. We have read many articles that suggest you should leave your baby alone and let her cry. Eventually she will fall asleep. We have tried this and it doesn’t work. We let her cry for few minutes but the intensity of crying keeps increasing until we can’t take it anymore. We are left with no option but to pick her up and make her sleep. We are parents, you know. We can’t see our baby crying like that.

Is our baby really spoiled? Are we making it worse?

No matter how hard we try, there is no way tabi is feeding through a bottle. We have tried everything. Used all kinds of bottles, tested keeping her hungry for a while, but nothing seems to be working.

We support breast-feeding wholeheartedly but there are few rare occasions when it is not practical. Even in those situations we strive to breastfeed the baby by expressing the breastmilk in a bottle and feeding her through it, but that has never worked because she would not take the bottle. She has gotten so used to exclusive breast feeding that she wouldn’t accept anything else.

We hope that after she is has crossed the 6-months mark and started having solid food, things will get better. In the meantime, do you have any ideas how to make the baby bottlefeed?

My brother in-law is visiting us. He has got two little daughters, one is 3-years old and other around 7 months old, just a few months older than tabi.

Needless to say, our home is a commotion. tabi has always been a very social baby. She likes it when there are people around her and never cries when someone carries her. So she is very excited to see to people in our home. She has made friends with GJ, her 7-month old cousin. They both talk in gibberish and we have no idea what is being discussed.

Because of the guests we go out every single day and stay out late night. The only problem with that is changing her diapers and feeding her (when we are at places where there is no decent feeding place for babies). Ever since she turned four months old, she has started looking at things with great interest. Every day she sees new things and is dazzled by so many objects in her little world. I am sure she has so many questions in her little mind about why things are like they are, but alas she is unable to speak right now.

I am sure she will drive us crazy when she starts speaking. At the moment GJ and tabi are enjoying each other’s company.

Tabi is now four months. One of the most major changes that I have noticed in her is that she has become more alert and conscious of her surroundings. She recognizes objects and tries to hold anything that she can grab. She was never a trouble baby. She doesn’t cry unless she is having stomach pain or some other problem. Most of the times she just smiles and laughs and talks in baby language. In fact she talks a lot. At nights when we are about to hit the bed that’s when she is most active. She utters amazing sounds and makes cute noises. It seems like she will be a chatterbox when she will grow up because she just can’t keep quite for a long time.

When we are out in the mall or somewhere I carry her in the sling. She’s still not used to sleeping in her stroller (or crib for that matter). But the good thing is that she sleeps easily while hanging in the sling. This makes it easy to perform our chores. Like I said, she is not a trouble maker unless she is really in some kind of trouble.

Although this blog is about fatherhood, I do not want to take any credit away from the mothers who go through the process of becoming a mother.

While fathers just look from a distance, it’s the mother who goes through the pregnancy. And I know it’s not easy. I have seen my wife going through the pain, the anxiety, the emotional stress, the unpredictable appetite, and countless visits to the doctor.

It’s the mother who undergoes all the tests, medical examinations, ultrasounds, treatments, and the physical burden of carrying a baby inside her body, for nine months.

It’s the mother who gives birth to the baby. And it’s probably the most painful thing ever. A father can never begin to imagine how it feels to deliver a baby because he never goes through it himself.

And then comes the stage of nursing the baby. Imagine feeding the baby from your body until the baby is old enough to eat other food. Imagine doing it every couple of hours, even in the middle of the night. Imagine being unable to do anything else because you have to feed the baby. I can’t imagine doing any of that. But mothers do it like nobody’s business.

It doesn’t end there. A mother takes care of her baby in every stage of growth. Right from changing diapers to teaching her how to tie a shoelace. Add this to the sleepless nights when the baby is sick, or unable to sleep for any reason.

Fathers, on the other hand, are not that deeply involved in this entire process. As much as I love my baby and want to do things for her, I can’t even come close to the effort and sacrifice my wife is making to raise the child.

Words don’t exist to appreciate the mother for what she does to keep this world going. It’s beyond out comprehension.